Life Cycles (How we re-invent ourselves.)

Life Cycles

How we re-invent ourselves (and why we should.)

It’s often difficult, particularly in Western society, to understand how we reinvent ourselves. The truth is, we are already doing it every day. The key to success is doing it intentionally.

If you are longing for personal or professional growth, but feel overwhelmed and stuck on the proverbial hamster-wheel of life, you aren’t alone. Research shows that about 70% of people feel “stuck” in their life or careers and only 3 out of 10 self-report as “happy.”

While there are many factors that can contribute to these feelings, the end result is the same; personal and professional growth become another stressor and we spend way too much of our precious time striving for something that seems elusive and based mostly on what others say or do.

Why we should re-invent the wheel

In our culture, we tend to think in a linear fashion. “Upward mobility,” “Climbing the ladder of Success,” “Journey to our Authentic Self.” Even those of us who are aware of our tendency to think in this way, sometimes use metaphors such as a “journey” or “ascending” to describe self-actualization. Implicit in our thoughts around growth are often ideals of “making it,” or “Finding ourselves.” These all imply a final destination and an upward or linear process.

But not all people in all times have used these ways of thinking about personal growth or what role work plays in our life. Many of the Eastern philosophies emphasize looking at life as a cycle (or many interlocking cycles.) Rather than personal growth being an upward climb, it is a part of an ever-expanding cyclical pattern of growth. In these models, life is more dynamic and interconnected and isn’t that what we really want?

American culture has always been about the individual, the pioneer, the innovator - not the group or society. Good or bad, we do not have the familial, social, or cultural tethers that those in some other cultures do. As everyone becomes connected via the internet and other media, the old paradigm of group versus individual is much less relevant. What matters is that you have something to offer the world around you. One of the fastest ways to begin to understand this is to start looking at yourself as the sun versus being a lonely planet. Or a drop of water in an infinite ocean…. the ocean cannot exist to it’s fullest without you, but it is inextricably tied to every other drop of water that, together, make up the vast ocean.

Why does a cyclical worldview make sense?

A great example of why non-linear thinking makes sense can be found in nature. Seasons are cyclical. We can see in the natural world many examples of life-cycles and reinvention and growth. The often-used metamorphosis of the Caterpillar into the Butterfly, the planetary cycles, photosynthesis, etc... There are many other examples of how nature operates in this way and how over time it grows and evolves species and systems. We are a part of nature and as such we naturally should be in tune with its rhythms and systems. However, again…we tend to see ourselves as above nature, special and unique to nature or otherwise superior and separate from it in some way. I would suggest that this is a large part of why we are so often lonely and stuck on that hamster-wheel.

Climb on Top of the Hamster Wheel!

Instead of being unconsciously stuck in our patterns which are not healthy or productive, why not consciously look at the situation from outside of the wheel. The fact is, you were never stuck. You always have the opportunity to grip the sides of the hamster-wheel and pull yourself onto the outside, where you can ride until you want to jump onto something else. This means getting outside of your present circumstances and being able to look at things from a different perspective.

Instead of running faster and faster trying to get somewhere ahead, step outside of the “trap” and realize that you had the power all along to get where you wanted to go. The wheel can still turn with you on the outside looking in, but if you are ready to jump and are willing to do the work, you can leave it anytime. Part of this is realizing that you were stuck, a strong desire to get out from under the stress and helplessness you feel, and most importantly taking the steps that are necessary to move to a different way of seeing your world.

It Sounds Great, but it’s Kind of Scary!

Change takes work and it can be overwhelming. Especially if you are “flying solo” in your quest to improve yourself. Even with the support of family and friends, it can feel like you are doing this all alone and that no one really understands. They may not be ready for change themselves. They may be too close to offer unbiased “support,” which may really be “I care about you, so I’ll go along with this.”

Make no mistake, honestly evaluating your life and taking steps to make monumental or even incremental changes can be frightening, challenging, and can create feelings of both elation and depression. This is completely normal. It is also why hiring a life coach is a great decision. A life coach helps you to:

1. Discover and understand who you really are.

2. Clarify and identify what you want/need.

3. Create and develop strategies to achieve your goals.

A final note: Personal evolution is distinct from personal development. When you develop, you become more of what you already are. When you evolve, you alter to become more of who you are meant to be. Both are excellent ways to achieve a level of joy, but evolution is the only way to make lasting, meaningful change. I will talk more about Evolving yourself in my next blog.

Till then…...Namaste,

Bill Moyer